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BY Brock Dudley
Ego Is the Enemy: Embracing Humility in a Military Transition
Welcome back! Recently, I reread “Ego is the Enemy” by Ryan Holiday. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve read it, but I was inspired to write on it as I saw applicability to the transitioning JMO.
Change can be hard. Especially as one enters uncharted territory. While making a career transition can be exciting, it can be stressful. I can’t lie, it was hard for me. Adopting new customs, learning the language of business, and ramping up my business knowledge was challenging and demanding. There was a healthy amount of anxiety, self-doubt, and even a bit of fear. However, I was able to embrace the change and channel that healthy anxiety and fear of the unknown by leaving my ego at the door.
As a transition coach at Cameron-Brooks, I feel blessed to be in a position where I can speak from experience as a former JMO, and now as a leader in business at Cameron-Brooks whose mission is to serve, educate and help transitioning JMOs understand their options. If their personal and professional goals align with Cameron-Brooks transition services, we talk about forming a partnership. Regardless, our mission is to have the individuals we interact with walk away feeling more educated and confident in their options outside the military, if that’s what they decide to do.
After reading “Ego is the Enemy” by Ryan Holiday again, we came to the conclusion that this is a must read for all transitioning JMOs in the Cameron-Brooks Development and Preparation Program. One of the most crucial things to navigate during such a transition is the role of ego. Ryan Holiday’s “Ego is the Enemy” sheds valuable light on the challenges posed by ego, and its principles can help guide non-traditional candidates through the process of starting fresh in an entirely new industry.
Understanding Ego and Its Role in Career Transition
In “Ego is the Enemy”, Holiday explains that ego is an unhealthy belief in our own importance, which often blinds us to our limitations. It’s that voice within that can create a sense of superiority or an exaggerated self-importance, and it can easily get in the way when venturing into unfamiliar territory. This is especially relevant for a non-traditional candidate such as a JMO.
I talk to JMOs all day every day and read their Evals, OER’s, FITREP’s, and OPB’s. I see many top block ratings, “My #1 of…”, “Early Promote…”, “Must Promote…”. It’s logical to think these individuals will be highly successful in the transition, but what I’ve learned is that’s not always the case. The individuals who are the most successful in accomplishing their goals are the ones with humility, who are good listeners, who ask great questions, are engaged in preparation, spend extra time reading books, working in study groups, are receptive to feedback, have a partner mentality, want to be coached, trusting of industry experts, and who HAVE FUN in the entire transition process!
So, here’s a couple ways that “Ego is the Enemy” applies to the transitioning JMO:
1. Embrace Humility as a Beginner Again
One of Holiday’s core messages is to “always stay a student.” Career transition means stepping into a space where you are likely to know less than most people around you, regardless of the knowledge and skills you bring from your previous career. This can be humbling, especially for those who were once highly respected in their former roles. Ego, however, resists this humility and can make you feel defensive or even resentful about being at the bottom of the learning curve.
To succeed in a new industry, it’s imperative to approach each day as an opportunity to learn. Humility will allow one to ask questions without shame, accept feedback as a necessary tool for growth, and acknowledge the expertise of others without feeling threatened. Remember, no matter how much you’ve accomplished before, there’s always more to learn. Embrace the newness and see it as a chance to grow.
2. Separate Identity from Accomplishments
In many cases, ego is rooted in our past achievements, which become tied to our identity. This attachment can be particularly challenging for those who were experts or high performers in their previous careers. Moving into a new field, it’s easy to feel like a “nobody,” which can be disorienting.
Holiday emphasizes that achievements are not who we are; they are simply things we’ve done. When we over-identify with them, we cling to titles and accolades that are irrelevant in a new field. This can prevent us from adapting to the new norms and expectations of a different industry. In other words, our ego is the enemy. By separating ourselves from past accomplishments, we can approach this new chapter as an opportunity to rebuild and redefine who we are without clinging to old titles and accomplishments that no longer serve us.
3. Adopt a Beginner’s Mindset (“The Growth Mindset”)
Holiday champions the importance of having a “beginner’s mindset.” This mindset is open, curious, and free from preconceived notions. For a non-traditional candidate, a beginner’s mindset is invaluable. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you already know how things work because of your previous experience. But every industry, and even every organization, has its unique culture and way of doing things.
Approach new tasks with curiosity and openness rather than assuming past methods will translate directly. This allows one to build credibility and respect in the new industry while simultaneously expanding their skill set. A beginner’s mindset encourages growth because it is open to new information and willing to accept feedback as part of the learning process.
4. Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome
Another key takeaway from Holiday’s work is the value of focusing on the process instead of the outcome. When transitioning careers, it’s natural to want to succeed quickly, but ego can rush the process by focusing on results rather than the steps needed to get there.
As you learn the ropes in a new industry, resist the urge to look for shortcuts or immediate recognition. Building expertise takes time. By concentrating on learning, building relationships, and refining your skills, you set a strong foundation that leads to lasting success. The process will eventually yield the results, and the quality of growth will be richer if given it the time it deserves.
The accomplishment is often in the Journey, not necessarily the end state. Think about the lessons learned, the wisdom gained, and the relationships built throughout the process.
5. Know When to Step Back and Listen
For anyone transitioning to a new field, ego can push one to try and prove themselves constantly. However, Holiday argues that knowing when to step back and listen is just as valuable. In a new field, you’re surrounded by people who can offer perspectives you may not yet understand. Listening to others, observing how they operate, and absorbing their wisdom can be more beneficial than trying to showcase your own strengths.
During this transition, seek out mentors and listen carefully to their advice. Rather than viewing these interactions as opportunities to display your skills, treat them as invaluable learning moments. Listening and observing demonstrate respect for the industry and the people within it, showing that you’re willing to grow and learn.
(HINT: That is what most Hiring Managers are looking for!^)
6. Practice Self-Reflection and Check Your Ego Regularly
Throughout his book, Holiday emphasizes the importance of self-reflection in keeping ego in check. Career changes often bring self-doubt, which can lead to overcompensating with an inflated ego. Self-reflection helps you recognize when ego is influencing your decisions or behavior and allows you to realign with humility and purpose.
I recommend taking time to reflect regularly – whether through journaling, talking with a trusted mentor, or even meditating. It can help you see your progress objectively and recognize any areas where ego might be creeping in. This practice keeps you grounded and allows you to respond thoughtfully to challenges as they arise, rather than impulsively acting on ego.
7. Redefine Success on New Terms
Finally, as you navigate this new chapter, redefine what success looks like in this industry. Ego often holds us to old definitions of success that may no longer apply. When transitioning, it’s critical to set new goals that reflect your present reality. Doing this requires humility and a willingness to evolve.
In your previous role, success might have meant leadership or a certain level of recognition. In a new industry, success could mean developing proficiency, building a strong network, or even finding joy in learning something new. Adjusting your definitions of success helps ensure that your goals align with the journey rather than being influenced by outdated ideals.
Ego is the Barrier. Humility is the Path!
I found this book to be extremely enlightening and so applicable to the JMO. I believe it offers profound insights into navigating a career transition with resilience, patience, and humility. If read in the right frame and at the right time, one can position themselves to embrace the transition with a mentality that there’s no way to fail in the transition. One controls their attitude and effort, and if ego is left at the door, one can realize their full potential by embracing humility, letting go of past accolades, and focusing on learning, you can build a new path with integrity and genuine growth.
Transitioning to a new industry is challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to rebuild from a place of authenticity. By applying these principles, you can pave the way for a career that reflects your values and passion, free from the limitations of ego. The journey may not be easy, but it will be all the more rewarding for the effort you put into it.
If you liked this article, I recommend picking up copy of “Ego is the Enemy” from your local book store, Amazon, or even audiobook! I’ve found audiobooks to be a great way to crush through books while walking, driving, and traveling!
If you want to talk about your transition options, feel free to give me a call or shoot me a message below. We also have a wealth of resources on our website and YouTube page below. You can also give us a follow on LinkedIn.
Best of success,
Brock Dudley | (210) 874-1495
Principal, Transition Coach
